So much to say, yet I don't know how to say it, so I'll start with this. . . Love the ones you have, don't take anything for granted, and cherish every moment you have with the ones you love. We left Thursday afternoon headed for Colorado. The plan was to leave at 6:00 on the dot, but ha ha, yeah right! We were actually pretty close though, closer than we've ever been. We pulled out of town at 6:24, not bad. 15 hours later we arrived in Lake City, Colorado. We stopped in town and ate breakfast, found a new camp spot since our usual spot was taken, set up camp, and just relaxed for the rest of the day. Saturday we got up and all headed out on the 4-wheelers for what was supposed to be a "short" trip to check out the wildflowers at American Basin and right back to camp. Of course, that didn't happen. We lost Clint, so our 2 hour trip turned into about 8! But is was still not as bad as two years ago when we spent the night crammed in the bathroom, cold and wet, with 5 crying kids! That was the only day I went on the 4-wheelers. After one day, I had already had enough and I didn't want to do too much being pregnant and all. Sunday Renee, Erin and I took Koy, Emma and Jackson to the park in town to play. Sure made me appreciate my own kids!!! I think Emma (who is only 3 by the way)cussed every kid on the playground, but I realized that she wasn't mine, and is not my problem, so I'll just feel sorry for Jacob & Erin in her teenage years! Monday Erin, Emma, Jackson, Tinker, Blayne, Monte, Koy and I loaded up and went back to town. We took the kids to the mine tour a just outside of town. It was something to do, and really pretty interesting even though I don't think he gave us the whole spill, since the kids were so young and didn't really care! Tuesday was really nice though. I got to spend the whole day with just my own family!!! Never thought that would happen! Robert and I took the boys and his mom to Ouray to eat at this place that we ate last year. It took 3 hours in the pickup to get there, but it was good to get away for a day and be with my own family. Wednesday, Erin and I went back to town again. We just walked around town and took the kids to the park again. (Are you bored yet!?!?) Thursday Renee wanted to get a couple of things in town so Koy got to go with his dad and Kase stayed with us because his asthma was acting up. He was really upset that he didn't get to go but we didn't want them to get up on the mountain in the middle of nowhere and have an asthma attack! So, we were in town eating lunch and before we left, I went to the bathroom....I'm not going to go into the details, but let's just say over the next three days I lost the baby. I officially "lost" it at the Econo Lodge in Eagle Nest, NM at 4:00 Saturday morning. What a way to end vacation! We didn't get home until late Saturday night, so first thing Sunday morning I called Dr. T. Because I am RH Negative, he had me go to the ER for a sonogram and a shot of RhoGam. Whitney, I have to back you up on that one, he is THE BEST DOCTOR ever. He was right there with me in his shorts and t-shirt making sure everything was ok and making calls for me getting things done. He even fixed it for me to be out-patient so I wouldn't have to pay the emergency room co-pay. How many doctors do you know that are so willing to go out of there way on a Sunday afternoon to be there for you, and be happy to be there. He is awesome. I feel so lucky to have a great doctor. He even had his nurse call me first thing this morning to check on me and see how I was feeling. I'm dealing with the loss. I know it happened for a reason and God has his way of taking care of things. I would rather it happen now, than to carry it for nine months and then find out something is wrong. Robert has been awesome. If you know Robert, you know that hospitals are not his thing, but he was right there with me the whole time, asking questions and everything. I feel so lucky to have so many people that care about me and to have the family that I have. I love my husband and my boys more than I could ever describe. Robert told the boys yesterday morning, but I was a little upset because they weren't. We later found out that they weren't upset because they thought that we just lost one baby, and there were still two more in there!!! Robert's mom explained it all to them, and told them that "Mom and Dad would just have to make another baby." Well they didn't realize that we could "make" a baby, and they wanted to know how!!! Gee thanks! I told them that we both had to pray together, and God would put another baby in there for us. Close call! I'll post pictures of the trip later, after I get them all downloaded and organized. I have pictures on four different cameras!
On another note, I want to ask everyone to pray for my nephew Mason. He's only got one kidney and has had problems with it since he was born, but it is continually getting worse, and they are talking kidney transplant. If I'm a match, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I love those kids and will do anything for them. It's not a for sure thing yet, the doctor just mentioned that they might want to start thinking about it. Hopefully it will never happen, but I will keep praying for that little angel. I can only imagine what Mike and Charity are going through and I'll be praying for them too.
Leighton: 1st day of Pre-K
10 years ago
5 comments:
Molly I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't say I understand, because I don't...but I will keep you in my prayers.
Oh' I'm so sorry! I know how devastating it is. About this time last year (August 11th), I went in for my 11 week appt. and we found out there was no heartbeat. We had already seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks. It was horrible!!!!!!!! But, we got pregnant the next month and we have Kennedy now! So, obviously it was meant to be, but that still doesn't make it hurt any less. Dr. T is the best! We'll be praying for you.
I bought a book called "Molly's Rosebush" to read to Morgan and help her understand. I think I got it on Amazon. It's a book for kids about miscarriage and is excellent!
You know Molly, I'm sure from reading my blog that in December I miscarried, as well. It was extremely rough, and the only way I got through was knowing that God's sovereign hand was controlling everything. It also makes the thought of Heaven even that much sweeter.
As we told Mia that the Lord took the baby, she looked at me and said matter of fact, "Well then, the baby is with Jesus, so He'll fix him."
We long for and pray for our children's souls, with an eternity spent with Christ in mind. That prayer was answered early - immediately our child was with the Lord.
There is a song that I rested in, while grieving and the chorus goes something like this:
"I miss you everyday, I miss you in every way. But I know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you. And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay. I can't wait for the day when we can hold you, we can hold you.
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, 'til Mom and Dad can hold you. You'll just have Heaven before we do. Yes, you'll just have Heaven before we do.
I can't imagine, Heaven's lullaby's and what they must sound like. But I will rest in knowing, that Heaven is your home and it's all you'll ever know. Baby, it's all you'll ever know, ever know."
Molly, I'm praying for you.
Oh' that is a beautiful song that Janice is talking about. A friend who experienced a stillbirth at 20 weeks gave me a copy. And I agree Heaven does seem that much sweeter since you know you will get to meet your sweet baby face to face.
I am so sorry to hear the news. If there is anything I can do please let me know. I will keep you in my prayers and your brothers little boy. Hang in there.
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